Justin and Danielle, who are featured in the engagement section of this site, were floored when they found out that table placements for their wedding of about 150 guests would cost nearly $800 alone. So being inventive and extremely good deal-hunters, they set to work and began collecting used stoneware plates which will go nicely with what I anticipate will be a slightly alternative wedding. They’ve eschewed dogma and are looking to put their signature on as many unique items as they can. Case in point: a couple of the plates they found had some cheesy “Happy 25th Anniversary” and “Happy 50th Anniversary” cursive on them. Perfect!

As I mentioned in a previous post, that is the spirit I love. It inspires me to photograph unique weddings. Unique documentary wedding photography comes from unique weddings.

Here are a couple other ideas they are considering to keeping their wedding costs in “cheque.”

1. Cutting the cake…out. With 150 family guest expected what better opportunity for a Cake Challenge. Get as many families to bring their own cake/pie creations and have a prize for the winner…or a really awesome cake fight.

2. Not shaken and not stirred. By serving only beer and wine, J&D will save big bucks person by not having gads of expensive liquor in a bar that will, inevitably, need to be manned by someone who knows what they are doing and not drinking have the stuff. If you have the time and are into the DIY, making your wine is an option too but leave lots of time for the wine to mature and test a couple bottles long before the wedding. We all have that Uncle who makes his own wine…

3. Serve yourself. Buffet-style meals encourage people to move around and talk with one another instead of sticking to an assigned table while a catering staff moves around them. Add long tables and you’ve got a recipe for good eats and great conversation.

4. Recruit. Got a buddy who’s handy on the ‘Q. Renting a BBQ and tasking a couple people to cook up some burgers, chicken breasts or ribs can also save some $$. Add your own signature by buying the meat and prepping the burgers yourself. You’ll have more control on the quality and likely get more (organic) for less.

Also, look to friends and family to help out where you’d normally hire a vendor. Got friend who’s a photographer (ahem)? or maybe you know a musician or music teacher who might get a couple students to play during the ceremony. Same goes for a DJ.

5. While J&D aren’t doing this, flip the script on the wedding dress and tux. It may make much more sense to look for a second-hand dress or even a rental while the guy buys a suit – something that can be worn down the road. But I’m a guy and probably just don’t get it. That said, the dress vs. suit is a great example of when to decide what is important to you. If you’ve always envisioned yourself walking down the isle looking like Princess Catherine then go for it and cut corners elsewhere. Just remember guys, everyone’s going to wonder why you have 15 foot train and lacy shoulders.

What are you doing to stay out of the whole and in love at the same time?

As a wedding photographer, the details that express a couple’s individuality are what contribute to a great wedding. I don’t want wedding dogma. I don’t want your parents’ wedding. I want to photograph you on your wedding day happy, in love, and at ease.

So that’s why I feel for couples who tell me that they are struggling with the expectations of two sets of parents.

The two obvious ways of going about it are to risk compromising your day by bending to any and all requests (demands) and not having a day you feel is yours; or to set the parental block on high and shut them out completely.

I think both options may have everyone leaving the wedding feeling unsatisfied.

So how do you create a wedding that is yours and not a comprised event where everyone leaves unhappy?

One way may be to set an expectation budget. As a couple write down the things that are non-negotiable, things that you must have on your day.

Everything else is open for input.

Focus picky parents’ attention on those details so that they feel they’re having some input and are involved in the day and not just a spectator.

While I feel parent’s must know where their place is, clear communication can set those boundaries without hurt feelings. Remember, they have been thinking about your wedding day for a long time too.

I know that I’m already envisioning dancing with my daughter at her wedding…and she’s four.

 Have you had picky parent’s kibosh your wedding? What would you have done differently?

Darren Brown, under www.weddingsbybrown.com, is now a member of the WPJA.

I’m happy to announce that I’ve recently been accepted into the Wedding Photojournalist Association (WPJA). The WPJA represents the best wedding photojournalists in the world and membership is only granted on the basis of a strict portfolio review in which the photographer must demonstrate the ability to capture real wedding moments without manipulation.

The photographer’s work should also not show a bunch of subjective editing like funky filters, duo-toning and heavy touch-ups. It’s all about real photography capturing real moments and I’m excited to associate myself with such a reputable community.

Through my membership I hope to continually develop my skills through quarterly contest submissions not to mention benefiting from studying the work of all the great photographers within its walls.

The WJPA site, www.wpja.com is not just for photogaphers. Couples looking to get married can cull many helpful tips in picking a photojournalist to document your wedding as well as tips on what to expect from that photographer(s).

I had a great meeting with a future client this weekend in which she explained how she really wanted a “timeless” feel to her wedding photography.

What she did was inadvertently characterize the beauty of wedding photojournalism; it can outlive trends, span generations and remain as relevant 100 years from now as it does today.

Why? It’s because a wedding photojournalist is there to document life’s moments that extend beyond the wedding date.

We’ve all seen our parents’ wedding albums. They pretty much just give you a really good idea as to who got dressed and who showed up.

We didn’t really see what happened throughout the day. It was just the way things were done. Cameras were usually big and slow and a far cry from the fast, light cameras we use today. Highlights of past trends include floating heads in wine glasses and soft-focus everything.

As a news photojournalist, I’m bringing the skills I use on a daily basis in the field to the front door of your life. It’s all about capturing the reaction of his first glance as she comes down the isle, the moment when all of you love pours from your eyes while pledging your vows, and the feeling that all eyes are on you as you take your first dance as husband and wife.

Ever since becoming a father 4 years ago I’m more and more aware of the role children play in weddings. Often they are just tag along guests but sometimes they have starring role like in the times they are called on to ferry a pair of rings down the isle.

And despite the encouragement of family, when they feel the pressure mounting there can invariably be some push back or stage fright.

As a wedding photographer I would never dare attempt to interject in a child/parent melt-down. However, over my years photographing weddings in Ottawa, I have seen things that work and things that don’t.

In my experience, it’s best to model the behaviour you would like to see. Children are amazing preceptors of stress and if the parent is getting stressed, the child may mirror. If it’s not a big deal for Johnny to walk down the isle with the rings, then make it look like no big deal. Keep ‘em smiling, keep ‘em laughing with some jokes trying all the while to keep their minds off the task at hand. Constantly asking them if they’re ready, double and triple checking their appearance, messing with their hair is only priming them for one thing – ignition.

The portrait session between the Bride and Groom can be a special time. Whether you have it before or after the wedding ceremony, it’s a chance to reconnect, to check in with the person you love. There are so many considerations for a Bride and Groom on the wedding day:  are we on schedule? have guests arrived? where are the flowers? You can easily forget the reasons that brought you to this day – each other.

As a documentary wedding photographer in Ottawa, I like to use the B&G portrait session to allow the couple to really relax, take a breath and maybe steal a kiss or two.

If I’ve had a chance to pre-scout locations before your wedding (which I usually do), then it’s simply a matter of finding that backdrop within which you can have a little fun without feeling like you’re under a microscope. I’ll offer guidance if I feel it’s necessary but I prefer to let you navigate this time. Through this process we’ll work together to make some memories.